The Blind Bride

Actually, I Think You'll Be Shitty Parents 01/27/2012

Could someone please explain to me why every human thinks it is their God/god given right to have children? Haven't we learned from many other instances (war, nuclear bombs, vegetarianism) that just because we can do something, doesn't make it a good idea?

Why is the instinct to procreate reign over the instinct to bring children into an environment that is safe and functioning? Don't have enough money to feed your kid? Worry about that later. Marriage on the rocks? I'm sure a baby will soothe any bitterness between you and your mate. Not interested in spending time reading to your kid? Not a problem, our public school systems will make up for that. Have tons of money, but don't really like kids? Just look at this girl- jewelry will fix it.

There are a fuck ton of people who are "ready" to have children, but have no idea what this actually takes. Wanting a mini-me is not a good reason to have kids. Neither are just thinking you're getting too old, hoping you can make up for the sins of your own parents or because everyone else is doing it.

My Only References Are to Reality TV 01/26/2012

Because I Watch Tabatha's Salon Takeover, I am Now a Salon Aficionado

Being a salon expert does not mean that go often. I enjoy the actual getting my hairs cut, but the days after are always disappointing. Plus, I have a problem paying a fortune for a haircut since I have the easiest hair to cut. Even though I often have split ends and some grey hairs, I will still tell you what I have learned from seasons of watching Tabatha rip people new ones.

Here's the thing. Hairdressers are in the service industry. Yes, they have some education and they get paid more per hour than I do, but they are there to serve the client that comes in. I am paying for an experience almost as much as I am a good haircut. Reality television has let me know;

1. If you are going to offer me coffee, present it to me when it's ready. I think the to go cup that was on the counter was mine, but I also vaguely remember it being there before I went to get my hair washed. I didn't want to ask because I am shy. I went without coffee.

2. If you are not cutting hair or being otherwise useful, get your ass off the floor. I don't want you sitting next to me, a paying customer, watching a movie on your iPhone or checking your FB page. I absolutely do NOT want to watch you eat. Go outside or the break room.

3. I'd like the option of having a chatty stylist. I won't be outgoing enough to start a conversation with you, but I'll chat once you start. I don't think I should have to sit in silence for an hour while you get the job done. It makes me think you don't care.

4. If you want to be treated like a professional, act like one. Don't ask me a billion questions about hair because as stylists can tell, I don't know anything about hair. I wash it once in a while and usually let it air dry.

I am addicted to reality TV. As long as it's not on network TV (aside from Bachelor/ette) I have watched it and probably love it. That doesn't mean that I approve of what's going on and I actually think it should be a call to the world for better manners and more thinking of others. Unfortunately, what it has caused is this air of casualness- there is no longer anything that's off limits. I liked the days when some things like sex and my hairdresser eating snacks went on behind closed doors. People seem to forget that everyone on reality TV is being exploited and should be at least a little embarrassed about their actions and lifestyle and want to mimic their actions.

What I Love, What I'd Like 01/24/2012

What I Love!

Tarte Combination Pack I bought this little gift pack for myself through Lucky Deals a bit before the holidays. I always look at their products in Sephora, but since I don't wear makeup on a regular basis, the thought of buying an expensive full-sized product seems like such a waste. I was a little nervous buying this because the colors look bright, but they compliment my skin beautifully. The cheek stain blends in perfectly and it looks like a flushed cheek, rather than like I'm actually wearing makeup. The lip stain is also perfect. It glides on and there is no need to add gloss over it. I will say that it is a bit fragile and already broke, so I have to apply it precariously now.
The best part is the mascara! It claims to increase the volume of your lashes by 424%. I highly doubt that's true, but it does make them stand out! The liner I could take or leave, but that's because I haven't learned to apply it without out looking like a drunk mess.

Jungle Fever! (Thrift Store Fun) 01/19/2012

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I was lucky enough to have been chosen for Woodn't Ya Know It's Thrift Store Pen Pal. He finds funny/outrageous/interesting things at thrift stores and then send them out to spread the joy. What did I get? Jungle Quicksand! It's a "Be Amazing Toy" and who doesn't want to be amazing? I've blogged before about my insecurities and it seems Woody knew immediately that I needed a boost to my self esteem. I was sure this would do the trick!

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In a room full of smart people... 01/12/2012

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So I mentioned a while ago that I got a new job. A great job in the educational field but far, far from children. Today was my unofficial first day. It was the company "retreat" and I got to meet everyone and see what they have been working on for the past few months. They warned me that I would be lost for the first day or so and that's OK. I was.

As I sat there looking around, listening to my colleagues and being asked to participate in the conversation I just couldn't help but think... are you sure you chose the right girl? I mean these people know their shit. They are well-versed in the most current research and they are asking me to join right in.

The thing is, I am more than qualified for this. For everything they are asking me to do. I interviewed twice, submitted my work and writing samples and they still chose ME. Why don't I trust their opinion of my intelligence. I should be flattered, but I'm just terrified. I am spending my last few days of unemployment freaking out. I am the worst in these situations because what I should be doing is research or something. I don't know what that something is, but it is NOT sitting on my ass and watching reality TV.

Why is it so difficult to see myself as one of the smart people?

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Melancholia 01/07/2012

What was the purpose of Kirsten Dunst having a mental illness? How did this add to the plot? Did it affect the outcome in any way?

Seriously... if you consider yourself into film critique and have seen this movie I need some fucking answers. Thanks!

Oh and PS this article from the NY Times provided me nothing. I expect not to have a numbered list of references ranging from biblical to mythological to art history in order to understand

January Goals 01/04/2012

I love reading about other people's resolutions. No one seems very optimistic about achieving them, but they were so fun anyway.

Because my job doesn't begin until Feb.1, I have some time on my hands. Honestly, January isn't off to a great start for my being productive with my time, but that's why I am putting these things in writing.

1. Begin and complete at least half of the College Writing Skills book that I was given last year. It's not that I'm a bad writer, I'm actually a decent one, but I can use a refresher on simple rules. Plus I just need to keep my brain moving.

2. Learn to do my own nails. I love getting mani/pedis, but this is something I can save money on to put toward other cosmetic procedures (see #3).

3. See a dermatologist about taking care of the aging that is happening in my nearly 30 year old body. Just a little laser here and there, nothing invasive or that anyone else will probably notice, but I do. The brown spots on my face and hands aren't going to go away on their own and I figure it I get a little taken care of each year, I'll look young forever.

4. Read The Marriage Plot and The Power of Now. The first serves the purpose of keeping up with my book club and being social. The second is for my mother. I already feel enlightened, but she bought it for Christmas and I should read it.

5. I have always wanted to become a regular somewhere, but I have chosen a place that I have to give up for at least a month- Bob's Donuts. I love everything they have and will have to resist walking by with the aroma wafting out and then walking in my door and facing my boyfriend on Wednesday nights- he has gotten used to the fresh goodness. I'll just tell him to take his pants off and that should substitute for a donut.

6. Work out for 650 minutes each week from now until I begin my new job. I am headed to Miami in early February and at 125 lbs, will be the biggest girl there. Yeah, I know that's not big. I like my body, but a little tightening wouldn't hurt. Plus, those girls think they are superior because they are waifs. Bullshit... I will show them that 125 is kickass!!

My Opinions Are Just As Valid As Yours 12/22/2011

I'm constantly working toward a point where I will be able to stand by my own opinions and not care what others say. Well, not not care, but not be easily swayed or automatically think I am wrong. I'm sort of talking about my post yesterday. Yeah, I realize I sounded totally bitchy. It may have come off that I didn't respect the blog I was referring to... not the case. Her pictures and wedding insights are ones I will most certainly refer to, if I ever decide to get married. Or that I didn't respect young people getting married... sort of the case, but I don't think that't bitchy. Ask any 29 year old of this generation about a 21 year old getting married and they will probably have similar opinions to mine.

I posed the question to my partner this morning about asking for my hand and receiving a "not yes, not no". He said he would have asked me anyway and that a marriage was about two people and not the family involved. I wonder if he would say this if our family circumstances were actually different. Like if my family hated him or something, but he knows he would get a "hell yes" from my family were he to ask. I think here is the problem. People don't think about others' feelings or the consequences of their actions. The world isn't just about me or you or the person standing next to you in line. If that were the case, I wouldn't be so afraid of my own opinions because I wouldn't have to worry about how they may affect another person.

I'm not saying that you should live your life based on what other people think or tell you to do or that you should live in fear of making decisions because you are afraid of how others react. BUT I am saying, that in the case with the young bride yesterday, if she isn't ready to live with what her parents think- good or bad- then maybe she should have thought about that before saying, "yes" to a marriage she knew they wouldn't support. You can't force other people to think what you think. You just have to be confident in yourself to make the decisions that are right for you and deal with how that is going to affect others later.

When I commented on The Knotty Bride's post about said young bride, I was the first one and the second comment did not agree with mine. It immediately made me feel like I was wrong and like I had come across as bitter about marriage. I'm not bitter and this was not a case for being right or wrong. Her opinion was just as valid as mine and disagreeing is good for the soul sometimes.

If You Don't Want the Answer, Don't Ask the Question 12/21/2011

The Knotty Bride is a lady who doles out advice for brides and posts killer pictures of weddings I'm not sure exist in real life. At least not in my real life. Honestly, I visit her blog for the pictures and don't read the advice column as much as she might hope a "reader" would. I might not exactly be her demographic, having no bride-to-be problems and having no desire to be a bride-to-be. Today, though, I did read about a young (21) year old girl who is getting married against the advice of her parents. Read it and I promise you'll know right off the bat that she is 21, kicking and screaming against her parents and vowing that she is always right. Maybe this is why I think young people should really think twice about making a life-long commitment.

I digress. It's her decision and if she will be happy, then more power to her. What gets me, though, is that her finace asked for her father for her hand in marriage and he did not say "yes". He said, "not yes and not no". Which might require a few follow up questions from the hopeful guy, "Why?" being the first. Doesn't sound like this happened and not liking the "not yes, not no" he asked her anyway. Now he (23) and the girl are confused why her parents about pissed about the entire shindig.

If you are going to ask a question, you have to live with the answer. Especially when it comes to a girl's daddy. Frankly, if he doesn't think you'll fit into the family cloth, you might not want to try. Right now, at least. Get your ass in gear and do whatever it takes to prove to her family that the answer should be YES! with hugs and cigars for everyone.

My advice was that he eat a little crow and apologize, but another reader said an apology was not in order. What do you think?? Let me know here and then pop over to leave a comment for TKB!