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 I learned to write thank you notes at a young age. They are never very long, but always prompt and meaningful. My mother was a stickler about this and used a story about her cousin who, in the days when checks were returned to the account holder after they had cleared, had written “Thanks” on the back of the check my grandparents had given her in lieu of writing a proper note. Both her parents and my grandparents were mortified and decades later, this story remains a cautionary tale. 

In our culture and many others, the giving of a gift for celebratory occassions is customary. The type and price of a gift is another post on its own, but the sentiment behind the gift should always be seen as a generous one. Traditionally, brides are given gifts at showers to set up their home. It was, not so long ago, unheard of for a bride to move out of her parents' home until she was married and thus, had little bring with her to set up her life with her new husband. Because of this, any household item was considered useful and the basics most of all. Today, brides often live alone or with their partners long before marriage and have most of what they need to set up a home. This is why a registry is helpful when choosing a gift for the bride-to-be. Knowing what she will receive beforehand can make the task of writing thank you notes difficult for the bride, but not impossible. 

A few weeks ago my mother received this note from the bride-to-be of a recent shower she attended. The bride is the future daughter-in-law of a childhood friend of my mother's and the two had not met prior to the shower. Suffice it to say, there was little likelihood that the bride would have much to write in terms of a personal anecdote or meaningful memory. This is what she decided to write. 

Thank you for coming to my bridal shower and for the cutting board and cake pan (both very much needed)

(little heart)
Jill
The bride had good intentions and her note arrived a week after the shower, but it seemed to have missed the mark.  What could she have written instead? Considering both of the items in the thank you note were on the registry, the bride-to-be obviously had an intent to use them for a specific purpose.

Thank you for the lovely cutting board and cake pan. I am eager to bake my grandmother’s famous German chocolate cake. She was a wonderful baker and I hope to follow in her footsteps and my family grows after my upcoming wedding. I know my mother-in-law was excited that you were able to attend and she was so proud to introduce me to you. Now I know why. Thank you for adding some humor and laughter to my special day. 

Best,
Jill

Some things to keep in mind when writing thank you notes for weddings and showers:

1. Be personal. Include something that indicates you really appreciate the gift. (I am eager to bake my grandmother’s German chocolate cake.)

2. Only a few sentences are necessary, if they are well-written and heartfelt.

3. It’s OK to embellish as long as it still rings true.  (My mother-in-law was so excited to introduce me to you.)

4. Start and end with a thank you. No one can ever hear that enough!

5. Write and mail the notes promptly. Your guest will appreciate it and you will have an easier time remembering a few details to include in your note.

Do you have any tips on note writing? What are some memorable thank you notes you have received?
 


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